What is SEL?
I have only become familiar with the term Social Emotional Learning (SEL) over the last 5 years or so. Due to a combination of the pandemic and current mom trends, SEL has taken a forefront. It is now becoming more prominent in school conversations… and I love it!
“SEL can help all young people and adults thrive personally and academically, develop and maintain positive relationships, become lifelong learners, and contribute to a more caring, just world.” (from Fundamentals of SEL)
Babies and Social Emotional Feelings
I remember having small babies and searching HARD to find books for toddlers on emotions. It wasn’t easy! My thought was that if I started to put WORDS to all kinds of emotions in fun ways, then my babies would also have the words for their feelings… eventually.
Once again, my simple mom thought was bombarded with reality when my kids grew up and surprise surprise, emotions are still hard to define and regulate. I think this is just parenting and totally normal. I take some credit, however, that my kids do have a wide vocabulary and with that comes more words for complex feelings. More words, however, does not always mean more awareness, but maybe it helps.
Download these fun emotions bookmarks to color! Fun for any age, start them early with their words for feelings.
“You can help teach your child feelings words by expressing and labeling emotions. Don’t be afraid to use complex words like disappointed instead of sad, for example. Over time, this helps build an understanding of the nuances of emotions.” (from More Feelings, More Words: The Importance of Feelings Words)
Raising Kind Humans
As a parent, our job is to prepare our kids for the world ahead. We all know that there are certainly many ups and downs in life. I think we all just want to make it easier on our kids. Therefore, providing them with social emotional skills early on just makes sense. Not to mention our own benefit and making the world a better place.
“…researchers explored long-term effects of SEL from 6 months to 18 years after students from kindergarten through high school experienced SEL teaching, through a meta-analysis of 82 school-based universal SEL programs involving 97,406 students.3 Those students showed stronger social-emotional skills and attitudes, more positive social behaviors, and greater academic success, an average of 3.75 years afterward. The academic performance of students in SEL programs was an average of 13 percentile points higher than peers without SEL exposure.” (from Trends in Social-Emotional Learning Research: What Are the Outcomes?)
We all know what it feels like to receive genuine kindness. I always want my kids to give that feeling to someone throughout their day. Not sure we get there everyday, but that is the goal!
Regulating Emotions
As an adult, I have realized that I too have to work on controlling my reactions and emotions. After all, it is the only thing I can really control in life.
“Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.” by Charles R. Swindoll.
With regular life and parenting stressors, I notice more and more my own inabilities to stay calm (anyone else?). It’s hard! I truly believe awareness is the first GIANT step. Then we can start to unpack what reactions are more productive and better for our own well-being.
“…while many Americans have grown emotionally throughout the pandemic, its lingering effects continue to affect them negatively.” (from 8 ways to cope with the stress of a long-haul pandemic)
I just love that there may be more chances for my kids to learn these social emotional skills in school, as it becomes more popular. Since I’m still learning to regulate my own emotions as an adult, I’ll take all the help I can get in teaching my kids these skills sooner than later.
Social Emotional Learning in Schools
It’s no surprise that the pandemic has taken a toll on all of us, but kids especially.
“As the United States approaches 2 full years of the COVID-19 pandemic, mental illness and the demand for psychological services are at all-time highs—especially among children.” (from Children’s mental health is in crisis)
At the height of the pandemic in late 2020, my kids had an SEL day each week at school. I was very surprised that their remote learning teachers had incorporated this into the curriculum. Even though neither of my kids remember what was discussed, I was very glad to see the concepts starting to be mentioned.
“While SEL has been more formally stood up as a program in preschools throughout all 50 states, very few states have made SEL a designated part of school curriculum at the elementary, middle, and high school levels.” (from Social Emotional Learning (SEL) & Why It Matters for Educators)
I can only hope that with more discussion and awareness around Social Emotional Learning, there will be more progress. Perhaps our kids will grow up in a world where more adults are able to regulate their emotions and the world will be a kinder place. I think this starts at home, but the schools can definitely pitch in to help!
Tell me your feelings on SEL and whether your kids’ schools have incorporated some kind of social emotional curriculum.
Share this post with your mom and teacher friends who can join in on the discussion.