I have discovered, during this year of distance learning at home, that my children are WAY more willing to tell ME “no” than anyone else! Why is this?
“Let’s do your math now.”
“NO!”
“Let’s do your reading now.”
“NO!”
If they were in the classroom and their teacher asked them to do those things or told them it was time to do anything, they would NEVER say “NO”. I have discovered that being a mom also comes with a hard reality that your own children just act the WORST for you. I’d like to think that this is because of their comfort level with us. But, somedays this is easier to accept than others. Somedays I would like to say I am mature enough to pick my battles and accept their Power of “NO” and embrace their confidence in setting their own boundaries. Other days, it’s just really annoying!
The Power of “NO” for kids is really important. However, when you are trying to teach them at home and make sure they pass the third grade, it can be quite the challenge. I have had to come up with multiple ways to motivate them. I never thought my sweet little babies would grow up to NOT want to READ when I have provided so many wonderful books and pictures and stories all around them. I feel like I have created the perfect learning environment for two budding intellects. Yet still, and often, they use their Power of “NO”.
And so, I try to meet them where they stand… I try to speak their language. I accept that they want it to be their choice and perhaps need a little stronger motivation… as in, bribery! Hopefully I’m not the only one and I’d love to hear from you in the comments below. What do you do to motivate your kids to do anything? Especially when they have fully learned to harness their Power of “NO”?
Here is a Reading Reward Chart the we have come up with to motivate the kids to WANT to read. I thought finding the right books that spoke to them would be enough motivation. But alas, it is only dolls and nerf guns that is motivating enough at this stage. So on this reward chart you can add a picture of the thing they want most (and that you are willing to pay for). The first time we let them pick something in the $60 range for 10 chapter books. The next time it was more in the $30 range… but we waited for them to find something they REALLY wanted. Most days, I am willing to buy them things to encourage their reading. Is this the perfect way? “NO!” And do I hope this will turn into an ACTUAL lifetime love of reading, without bribery, YES!
Comment below what “REWARDS” you have come up with to motivate READING in your little ones.
Download our Reading Reward Chart PDF here:
Compliance! Yes, compliance was a goal when I raised children and when I taught children in the 80’s. Do as I say! I was the adult. I felt I knew what I was doing. Now? Not so much. Bribery? Rewards? Isn’t that the real world? I don’t think it is bad parenting to urge kids to earn what they want. It is very satisfying for kids as well as adults to feel the satisfaction of getting what they want through their own efforts. What I wish we could improve on is: discussions, explanations, reasoning with kids. Help them see the intrinsic values…not just the extrinsic ‘stuff’. Put down the electronic devices. Hold hands. Hug. Let kids realize you love and want the very best for them. Reading, education, as well as compliance and thinking for themselves, are the behaviors for a great life!
Thank you, Joyce! We agree with you and appreciate your comments tremendously!