We just got our first quarter grades for the 4th grade. One child did excellent… and you guessed it, one child did not do so great. We have discussed it at length with the teachers and I have analyzed different remedies at home. But the bottom line is… should I worry about the bad grades or just focus on the future?
I’m hoping some parents of older children chime in here and share their experience with good grades and “bad” grades. How did you help improve your child’s grades? I hate to even use the words “good” and “bad”. I feel like I want to focus more on the effort than the outcome.
I know that an F right now for my child means that they did not listen, did not turn it in, did not read the question carefully, and overall did not try very hard. Most teachers (at least at the elementary school level) will prepare the students adequately for the test. Meaning if you do the work and pay attention, you should do well on the tests. But if you do not do the work and do not pay attention… well the tests are that much harder and are reflected in the overall grades.
I did a little research and discovered that overall grades in elementary school are not as important as grades in high school. Colleges are NOT looking at elementary school grades… thank goodness!
“There are ways grades do matter, though, in Flanagan’s estimation — and that’s in tracking progress. That means the goal shouldn’t be high grades, just some grade change.” (from Do Kids’ Elementary School Grades Even Matter?)
As I suspected, the progress is more important than the actual number! Granted, I know that my child has not been putting in the effort and therefore is not showing great progress. But I also know that a grade is not accurately reflective of my child’s intelligence, potential or capabilities.
“In my experience, most bad grades aren’t the result of laziness or poor intelligence. Often it’s something else.” (from THE ‘WHY’ BEHIND BAD GRADES)
Definitely 3rd and 4th grade have been when things are getting real for my kids. They have to learn HOW to learn on their own and find their OWN path.
At some point, we all had to make the choice of completing homework on our own or listening to the teacher. We had to decide whether the grades or our effort was worth it. I am trying to find that balance in explaining that grades ARE important, but perfection is not.
It is good to know that maybe we have SOME time, but not a lot. Middle school is coming soon for us and I don’t want my kids to have to struggle so much. I also don’t want MYSELF to have to struggle so much in helping them. “I want you to WANT to do your homework and study for your test!” Is that too much to ask?
“…the most important goal for middle school students is to learn. Students must establish a solid foundation in the middle grades to be successful in high school. If your grades are bad in middle school, it probably won’t hurt your chances of getting into your college of choice, or even receiving scholarship offers for college, as long as you have learned what you need to learn for high school!” (from How Much Damage Do Bad Grades Do?)
My goal for now is to create a desire to learn and make it fun in the process. I want to focus on how good it feels to KNOW something and get a right answer. But also, how good it feels to work hard on something and be REWARDED with a good grade. Consequences are hard and I think letting them get the bad grades is part of the journey. But elementary school is the time to figure this out, not later when the grades matter most.
“…students who perform poorly in high school probably won’t graduate from college.” (from It’s Time to Tell the Kids: If You Don’t Do Well in High School, You Won’t Do Well in College (or on the Job))
So we will continue to work on gaining study skills and figure out how to MOTIVATE the unmotivated child.
“True lessons come from the struggle, so keep struggling and striving and the success will be so much richer. And remember this: YOUR GRADES DO NOT DEFINE YOU.” (from Does your grades define your intelligence?)
Tell me how grades are looked at in your house. Do you focus on the “bad” ones or the “good” ones? What have you learned that helps motivate your kids? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below.