(By Guest Blogger: Ciara Cheriese)
When I was a substitute preschool teacher (while my daughter was in grade school)… I had a simple rule/ boundary in place… “I will not agree to sub on days that I cannot give the students my very best patient self.”
I did this to ensure that I would have the energy needed to care for Nani (my daughter) properly. In order to handle…. pick up, bath time, homework, dinner, next day prep & any “additional unknowns”.
This strategy (making sure I was ready to give my best in the workplace) taught me so much about the “beauty of patience”. The only way to truly have it is if you practice it & set yourself up to be patient.
There is this incorrect principle that we either “naturally have it or we don’t”. The reality is, we just need to remind ourselves to “practice it”.
Parenting & Teaching both require an immense amount of patience. Oftentimes, our kiddos are behaving exactly how they should be… It’s normal to be loud, to get easily distracted & to be a little grumpy. The question is how do we incentivize them to alter their undesirable behavior? Number one, let’s NOT take it personal, as it is not. Number two, let’s be the grown up and coax them with a loving tender patient voice. Number three, perfect behavior isn’t really the objective. The objective should be progress. More importantly, we have to be willing to widen the scope (daily) of what “progress” means.
As a parent this was more difficult but as an educator, I found my sweet spot… I am only here with these sweet little souls until 530pm, so I will just keep smiling my way through the day. I knew going into it, that we would have a few mishaps. For some reason, we forget this as parents… I noticed this about myself once I did start teaching.
Why do I have more patience for kids without my DNA, than my beautiful love child?
I didn’t figure out the answer to this question overnight, it was definitely a slow process. I also started reading tons of parenting books & slowly I started putting things together. Patience & learning must go hand & hand. Whether it’s in the home or the classroom. Simple things to do to exercise patience…
Manage your tone, even if you have to speak through a clenched jaw;). Have at least one “decompression tactic”. We used to turn off the lights to get the kids’ attention, this means we don’t have to yell over them (& potentially lose our cool). Lastly, just breathe & remember this is a process & no one has all the answers.
Some days we hit the mark & other’s we don’t. However, we all get an “A” for making some sort of an effort. Patience is a virtue & that means it is hard to achieve. Let’s just honor those we love by finding ways to practice patience, so we cultivate healthy viable relationships.
Please let us know how you practice patience and what tactics you find helpful?